Table of Contents

Subhash, Kathmandu, Nepal (English)


I am now living in a rented flat in Kathmandu since 2004. The flat is nest also for my mother, wife, and twin brother and sister. Soon after my father was killed by the Maoists (?) during their armed struggle with the state, I left my village for Kathmandu in 2002 as an internally displaced person/family. My mother and twin brother and sister joined me in Kathmandu two years later. Tshering and I got married in 2011 and this has been great gift for me to nurture our life together. Family for me is an opportunity to test my nonviolence, compassion, love, expectations, happiness and suffering arising from expectations.

When my father faced violence and got killed, I had two trails ahead to choose: one, to follow the trail of revenge with them who used violence and crime to end my father’s life; second, to lead self and family towards the trail of making peace in family and beyond. I chose the second one and left village in search for safer place- first at the district headquarter and later to Kathmandu. Looking back, that was the best possible decision I could have made at the situation!

In Kathmandu, I started working with the NGOs in the field of human rights, especially women and children rights during the armed conflict. These opportunities connected me with peace loving and harmony making people around the world. Stuart Morton, a Quaker from England, stands notable for me in modeling the life journey of peace and simplicity. Stuart and I are celebrating 10th year of our trusted and loving friendship- now family to family.

I was not sure of getting married until I met Tshering, a girl from Sherpa ethnic community. When we met, both felt that we can nurture each other and share our happiness and sadness together. We try to practice together- to agree, accept and respect the fact that we are two independent souls who may have different understandings, ideas, dreams, and history. Otherwise, the relationship steps into trouble.

Subhash with his wife Tshering.

My relationship with my wife and family is challenging because I got married with a woman from a so-called ‘low caste’ and I unknowingly born in so-called ‘high caste’.

My family is influenced by Hindu culture and philosophy, and my wife comes from Buddhist background. Therefore, I have in-house challenges of practicing and making peace, harmony and equality through nonviolent ways. Until now, I am tested OK with these challenges. No doubt, there is much more to improve. My involvement with the Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP) since 2008 has given me an opportunity to explore- how can I improve myself! This not only builds my family, but also stretches towards the various sections of community I am living in.

In recent years, I have chosen volunteer ways to understand and promote peace and nonviolence in Nepalese communities. I occasionally do consultancy works as writer, translator and editor. My wife has liberated me from most of the financial responsibilities in family. Lifestyle I have chosen requires limited financial resources. A ‘must take way for all’- I believe- towards making peace in self and in the world is- live simply. 

Subhash facilitating an AVP workshop in a Bhutaneese Refugee camp.

I value uniqueness in a friend. Affection, rather than attachment, gives me peace in all relationships- including in friendships. Every moment- when I am aware of my inner self- I see nothing but love and compassion in me. Let it stream purer and naturally, and share it more! This gives me a sense for living; understanding and purifying self gives purpose to live. Being aware of self and live at present is my every second meditation; this is my spirituality. I try this. As Bob Barns- an AVP facilitator says- we (as human being) can do much better! This inspires me- yes, we can do much better.

A dream is following me since last four years, and time and again I feel it is calling me. The dream is- to start a self sustainable Aashram (center) where young people from various communities in Nepal come to stay and learn peace, nonviolence, truthfulness, rights and responsibilities, simplicity, equality, compassion, discipline for peaceful mind and healthy body, understand the value and practice of (organic) agriculture (physical labor), social change and change-making, means for social transformation and so on- things we all peace lovers crave for. Is everything possible at one place? Yes, at least, we can do much better; have to start from something practical at the beginning. Join me, if you believe in this dream!


March 2014